Windows Live Messenger/MSN: sylespada@hotmail.comMust... get... CAR
One of the many "joys" of work is the fact that if I don't have a ride, I have to walk there. Well, halfway there, but it's still a pain. It's a 4 mile walk from the bus stop to work, at 1 AM. I'm one of those people who gives it their all when it comes to work, so it has to be done. It's really odd, I love walking, especially on a clear night. But the other night I just couldn't stand it. I felt so depressed and hollow. Thanks to a little help from my buddy Ramona, I linked it to feeling alone, but not that I'm lonely exactly. The depth of the sky was overwhelming, as though it was so grand compared lil old me. It was more of a yearning to find a girl who won't do stupid things. Everyone does dumb things, I'm guilty of that too, but not everything is forgivable, or right. I think it's a lot of things that caused me to feel so lonely, mostly due to my job. My sleep is crap (work at 2 am ftw!), I'm always tired, I eat only once a day, and I get very little time to myself because of sleep/work. This on top of having to pay stuff off ASAP will make work feel fruitless for a while.
The image of the sky really reminded me of this scene from Bakemonogatari (from Epsiode 12, if you're interested). A boy and a girl lie before an open sky, a sky that's ablaze with the beauty of the universe. They lay there and hold hands, telling each other how they love each other. The dialogue wasn't even overly romantic or super mushy or anything like that. But the scene itself has become one of my all time favorite scenes from any anime. I was listening to Muse when I looked at the sky, and something (probably Muse's astral-sounding tone) just reminded me of this scene. I came to realize later that this is what offset my loneliness. I haven't felt that lonely since about 1 year ago, but this just came out of nowhere. But just like it came, it left me and that morbid feeling hasn't returned. That's super great cause I don't want that shit to bother me again. It's messed with my head enough.
What really concerns me is if I walk again, will it come back? I kind of dread finding out. I don't want to go through that every night on my way to work. I was already pretty determined to get a car when I started working at FedEx, but that's sealed the deal for me. I've already been researching the car(s) I want to get. Still have to look into how car loans/buying from a dealer works.
I've been looking into Scions, namely the xB model
and the tC model. For some reason all the nice dark colored ones ARE MANUAL ARGHHHHH. I can't drive stick for shit. I'm slightly leaning more towards the tC just because for some reason xB's are more expensive. I like all the year models of the tC but only the 2004-2006 xB's since I hate the 2008+ models, they look so retarded. The price range has been anywhere from $6,000-$11,000, a little more than I expected. It's k though, I get payed semi-decently at FedEx so monthly payments wouldn't be bad at all. Of course that means I can't buy off the street because people want full payments up front. Either way, it's something nice to look forward to, my first huge ass purchase :D
Oh and by the way, I'M FUCKING TIRED.
The image of the sky really reminded me of this scene from Bakemonogatari (from Epsiode 12, if you're interested). A boy and a girl lie before an open sky, a sky that's ablaze with the beauty of the universe. They lay there and hold hands, telling each other how they love each other. The dialogue wasn't even overly romantic or super mushy or anything like that. But the scene itself has become one of my all time favorite scenes from any anime. I was listening to Muse when I looked at the sky, and something (probably Muse's astral-sounding tone) just reminded me of this scene. I came to realize later that this is what offset my loneliness. I haven't felt that lonely since about 1 year ago, but this just came out of nowhere. But just like it came, it left me and that morbid feeling hasn't returned. That's super great cause I don't want that shit to bother me again. It's messed with my head enough.What really concerns me is if I walk again, will it come back? I kind of dread finding out. I don't want to go through that every night on my way to work. I was already pretty determined to get a car when I started working at FedEx, but that's sealed the deal for me. I've already been researching the car(s) I want to get. Still have to look into how car loans/buying from a dealer works.
I've been looking into Scions, namely the xB model
and the tC model. For some reason all the nice dark colored ones ARE MANUAL ARGHHHHH. I can't drive stick for shit. I'm slightly leaning more towards the tC just because for some reason xB's are more expensive. I like all the year models of the tC but only the 2004-2006 xB's since I hate the 2008+ models, they look so retarded. The price range has been anywhere from $6,000-$11,000, a little more than I expected. It's k though, I get payed semi-decently at FedEx so monthly payments wouldn't be bad at all. Of course that means I can't buy off the street because people want full payments up front. Either way, it's something nice to look forward to, my first huge ass purchase :DOh and by the way, I'M FUCKING TIRED.