So today marks my 22nd birthday. I'm figuring it'll be uneventful today, I don't have anything planned whatsoever. I might go buy some drinks and BBQ some burgers, kick back and enjoy some good music.

Anyways, with the coming of this age, I think it's time I started taking my health a little more seriously. Eh, a lot of people make resolutions and all that bullshit, but I'm going to be rather serious about it. I feel like I'm just wasting away and am going to be hella fucked over in terms of health when I get older. I'm not sure what has influenced this, but still, I can't avoid it any longer. My family has lots of heretical diseases, I may as well be on the safe side.

Besides, I kind of tried this out for a while already. I was exercising regularly and eating well, I felt good. I want that feeling again. It doesn't mean going super anal on my diet, eating disgusting vegan shit, or anything like that. I just have to eat smarter and cut out the junk substantially. This will be accompanied by regular exercise, mostly cardio and conditioning. I do plan to start going to the gym again, but I'll need to wait til next month to see how my finances are doing.

Still, I really want to do this. I've been planning it out for a week and I'm hoping I can go through with it. It won't be easy, I'd be delusional to think it would be.

5 more days until my birthday. Not really expecting anything, might throw a small bbq shindig with a couple pals.

FUCK, I'M TURNING INTO A FOSSIL :<

Labels: random rambling

So, I officially know now that cars hate me. I was in a car accident about a month ago, with my coworker behind the wheel. Long story short, some guy in a huge FedEx truck ran right into us and etc. Wasn't anything special, no one got hurt and I was fine.

Well, it happened again except this time I was riding a bicycle. Some Altima was making a right turn but did NOT see me (I have no idea how that's possible on that street) and had plenty of room to stop but they didn't. Ended up hitting me on the left side of my bike. I got lucky, my body somehow knew it was going to get hit and prepped itself for the impact. Car rolled up and bam, I go flying. I got away with just a couple scratches and bruises. I also got lucky because my bike wasn't messed up. Even so, I rolled like 15 feet away. I landed on my shoulder and screwed up my ankle a little.

People were nice though, like 4 people stopped and helped me out. I was shaking so hard but I felt calm. It was kind of sprinkling a little bit, and that helped sober me up from the insane adrenaline rush. It wasn't until I got home that my neck, shoulder, and right ankle started to yell at me though.

How do people like this get away with driving? I dont' even.

Labels: lol wut, RAGE

...but not today! Oh man, it feels absolutely perfect outside! You see, weather affects my mood quite a bit, so I'm actually rather joyous today. It's windy, with the breeze being nice and chilly but not to the point where you're shivering. The sun is so mild, you can barely feel it but it still feels good on the skin. And the sky is super clear, and that's saying a lot considering I live relatively close to Los Angeles. The thermostat says 50 degrees, but oh my god does it feel so good. I wish I had a car, this is perfect weather to just roll down the windows and just drive on some scenic road or something with music blasting.

Feels VERY good, man. I think I am going to pull out a lawn chair and just take a nap outside.

Labels: random rambling, weather

Today has been extremely great for me.

It started out kind of iffy. I woke up in the middle of the night with an itchy leg. I kept scratching it for a while, then thought "Huh, I wonder what time it is and how much sleep I have left before work..." I check the clock. 1:09 AM. I forgot to set the alarm (which is at 1:03 AM). That was some insane luck right there. Almost missed the bus too. But it was another driver today so he stopped for me.

On the bus was some crazy short fat guy (who had just gotten off the bus in the opposite side of the street...). The bus driver asked him why he was going this way now and he said "They'll hang me in Walnut! It's illegal to walk on the sidewalk. They're for bikes only." This motherfucker must have been on crack. So there he was, talking to this guy across from him who wasn't really paying him ANY attention to begin with, then he waves at me. I pause my music and take off my headphones. He asks me "Hey, what does it say on your jacket?" I was wearing the jacket my dad got me for Xmas, it says Dark Ruins, looks kind of black metal-ish, but not really. I don't say anything and he says "Did you buy it at the mall?" No, I bought it at Walmart. "Huh, it looks kind of... evil. People won't help you if you wear something like that. Especially if they're Christian." Wow, this motherfucker was stupid. As I was getting up for my stop, I told him "If someone doesn't want to help me just because of the hoodie I'm wearing, I wouldn't want their help anyways. A real Christian wouldn't do something that stupidly selfish if I really needed help anyways." He was going to say something but I think I flabbergasted him.

I got to work and as soon as I sat down on the bleachers (yeah, we have bleacher stands at work) I felt extremely drained. My head was really heavy and every time I did any kind of sudden movement I felt like I was going to black out. Luckily, the load at work was merciful. My boss came up to me to tell me that the driver for my second truck was really pleased with my loading and scanning as of late. He gave me a raise! That's pretty awesome considering I got one 2-3 weeks ago too. Bitches don't get payed.

I got home and took a nap and woke up around noon. Woke up to something special in the mail: my Kara no Kyoukai poster! I framed it and am extremely happy with it. I was going to go down to Gamestop to cancel my preorder of FFXIII since I was going to send in my PS3 for repairs. Today's weather was really nice. I waited like 5 minutes for the bus. Two chicks showed up at the bus stop and they were staring at me and giggling the whole time. One of them came up to me and asked me for the time and gave me her email address (lolwut?) I must be old, but I guess instead of numbers people give those out. Too bad I'm not interested, nor do I want to go to jail because of jailbait. I guess that's what I get for looking like I'm still in high school. Either way, it was somewhat flattering.

Took care of the cancellation, and went to Starbucks. I had a receipt for a free small drink of my choice, and they ended up giving me a Venti (large). I crossed the street to wait for the bus and it only took 5 minutes to arrive. Got off, got some Chinese food and they LOADED the carryout box as much as possible. Near my house, some kid tagged "FUCK THIS CITY" onto the street. Talk about angsty lol.

Man, today sure was one hell of an enjoyable day. If only it was a Friday, I'd be all ¦3 right now.

Lately I've been having a recurring theme to my dreams. A mysterious girl is always playing the piano. It's always in this fancy parlor room of some brilliantly lit room. The sunlight is always so bright that I can never see outside the large windows.

The girl playing the piano is always the same one. She's really beautiful, just like the music she plays. She has extremely pale skin and long dark hair and the greenest eyes ever. Whenever I see myself in the room I'm always on the opposite end of it, far away from the girl. I don't know how I end up in there, but I always try to reach out to her, to get her attention. I don't really know what I'm going to do once I get her attention. Words never escape my throat no matter how much force I put into yelling at the top of my lungs. My body always feels extremely heavy, I can't move at all from wherever I am. All I can do is hear the music coming from the piano.

Strangely, the music is always melancholy, full of painful and dark overtones. Think along the lines of Rachmaninoff's Prelude Op. 3 No 2., just really dark music that makes you feel the mood behind it. Anyways, all I can do is just sit there and listen to her pain. When she plays, she never seems sad though, just really enveloped by the piano. Her music says otherwise, but maybe I read too much into it.

I don't know why this theme keeps occurring, nor do I know who this girl is. I've never seen anyone like her in my life. I keep trying to dig at the meaning behind it, but I just keep coming up empty. I don't really try anymore, but it sort of does inspire me to pick up the piano some time again.

The only downside of these dreams is that it makes me feel like I'm missing something. Every time I look into the sky, especially when an airplane is passing by, I feel like I don't belong here. I crave for a change of... everything. It's not a depressing feeling, but it is making me sigh a lot lol.

And coincidentally enough, it reminds me of her. I kind of stopped daydreaming about her for a while, until recently. There was a menu for Black Angus in one of my trucks at work, and I thought to myself "Man, it's been a really really long time since I've gone anywhere fancy on a date. I wonder if she'd like going here..." I was flipping through the menu, just reading all the stuff you can order when I got to the back of the menu. They had a selection of wines, all kinds of red and white wines to choose from. And it hit me then, I missed her like crazy. Ever since then she's been back in my head constantly. Oddly enough I don't feel lonely, I just miss her tons. I have a strange yearning to just be around her. I don't know, I feel great every time I think about her, but it always comes with a long sigh.

Don't get me wrong though, even though a lot of stuff has been troubling me and it seems like I'm going some kind of downward spiral, I don't feel depressed. Just longing for... something.

Labels: dream, Reflecting

So yeah, my PS3 just bricked. I didn't do anything to it that could warrant the YLOD, so I'm wondering what the fuck the repair guys did to it, if anything. The sad part is that I payed for the repairs slightly over a month ago, meaning I can't send it back under the repair warranty. Yay.

Now this wouldn't be so rage inducing if it weren't for the fact that I have to pay rent now, starting next week. The amount is kind of ridiculous, but I don't have a choice. So there goes my plan for saving up for a new computer, and there goes the money I could use to buy a new PS3.

Syl is very... VERY FUCKING HAPPY.